Daily life

Tough decisions

So yesterday, when I was putting the dogs in their room (yes they have a room) so the people delivering our appliances could do so in peace, I noticed that there was something amiss with our smallest dog’s eyes, well one of them anyway. I immediately called the vet and they’re booked out for a week. She suggested that we might make an appointment elsewhere if it gets too bad, or take him to the emergency vet, but we did make an appointment for next Monday and I’m on the waiting list for if someone cancels.

So here is what I saw:

His right eye.

Now the question becomes, what would I do if it was my eye? And I can answer that because something similar happened to me. I started getting huge floaters in my eye when I was in my late twenties. I mean, huge floaters. They were quite distracting. Not quite the same as a milky coat over the eye, but still… And I did the same thing I’m doing with Poptart, I made an appointment and kept an eye (no pun intended) on the situation. He’s not showing any signs of distress, he’s not worrying at his face. There’s no puss or discharge coming from the eye, and it’s not swollen. It’s just… milky or cloudy if you will. If it gets any worse, we’ll take him to the emergency vet, but so long as he’s acting normal, we’ll just keep assessing the situation.

So why write a post about it? Well, here’s what he looks like today:

Just a little worse

And even though I stand by what I said above, I still feel like there’s something more I could do. I’m always second guessing myself whenever I make a decision like this. Even when it involves me. I wrote some time ago about the pains I get in my chest. I know that it’s chostocondritis. I know it. I’ve had them for years and years — decades even. And the first time I had them, I was sitting alone in my office and I knew… just knew… that I wasn’t having a heart attack because the only symptom I had was chest pains. But I sat at my desk, going through the motions of working and pretending like everything was okay for, I dunno, six hours, second guessing myself and even making plans for my kids should I end up in the hospital, dying. I didn’t die, of course, and I didn’t end up going to the ER, but it was a close call that first time. And I do that every time my chest hurts. It’s the same with with all of these kinds of decisions. Like, I’m pretty firm in the choices I make because I do research and ask opinions of experts and they back me up, but then I’m all, “What if I’m wrong?” And I can be wrong. I’m only human after all, and so are the experts.

Happens all the time.

If I’m wrong in this case, well, Poptart loses vision in this eye. Worse case scenario, he’ll lose the eye completely. I don’t think that will happen, because as you can see by the pictures, other than a cloudy appearance, his eye looks fine. It’s not red, discharging, swollen, or anything. There are tons of reasons why it would be cloudy according to this (and other) articles. Some reasons are more benign than others, but if the only symptom is cloudiness, then we don’t have *too* much to worry about. Hopefully. Maybe. I hope that we can get in to the vet sooner rather than later, but until we do I’m not going to stress too much over it. So long as he’s acting like a normal, healthy dog, I’m just going to keep a close eye on him (again, no pun intended) and take it one day at a time. It’s what I would do it it were me, and I treat them as I would treat myself. Maybe y’all feel different, I dunno. I’ve always been a “wait and see” kind of person, and Doug’s with me on this. It’s frustrating when I second guess myself though.

Also, don’t @ me about his nails. I know he needs a trim. He just got one last month. His nails grow fast, and with COVID-19 it’s impossible to get into a groomer. Hopefully the vet can trim them while he’s there.