So, this just happened, like two minutes ago. I was sitting here at my computer when some dude rang my doorbell. Like, I saw him walk up the driveway and I was all, “Who the heck is this?” The doorbell is situated outside of the gate on the low wall that surrounds our yard. So I went outside and asked: “Can I help you?” And this guy was leaning against the wall mumbling about being homeless, having just taken a bath in the Rio Grande, and now his feet are sore and did I have some sandals he could have? He mumbled on and on about being hot, tired, and “…about ready to go off. You just don’t know.” He didn’t seem dangerous, but… I figured I’d give him a hand. I mean, it rarely hurts to be kind, you know?
I was all, “Um, no, I don’t have any sandals, but hold on a sec.” I had these old work boots that were on their last legs and I figured they were way better than the socks he was walking around in. Plus, they were right next to the door, so I guessed it wouldn’t do any harm to see if they fit. I mean, I wasn’t using them, so what the heck? Anyway, I brought them out to him, and he sat down in the shade just outside my gate and started to pull off the socks he was wearing so he could try them on. First though, he pointed out all of the sand and micro cuts that were on his feet, “See,” he said, “I’m not lying.” I didn’t figure he was, but whatever. I told him to hold on and went get him two big cups (32 oz) of water, one to drink and one to wash his feet, and a washcloth.
The way he drank the water makes me wish I’d brought some food out too, but I didn’t think about it. But what’s done is done. Anyway, while he was pulling off his socks, washing his feet, and trying on the shoes, he went on and on about how this planet isn’t safe anymore and how he’s “seen things” in his wanderings, and how I should “listen to the dogs” because aliens are taking over the world and the dogs “know”. He was convinced that the sand in his sock just magically appeared there and it was an attack on him somehow, and not, you know, because socks are porous and sand will get into them when one is walking on sandy ground. He told me how the superconductor was taking over people’s minds and making even the nicest person into a murderer. How the police were taking people away and replacing them with other people “not them” and no one knew about it. “But the dogs know.” He said that he knew he sounded crazy, but it was all real. I made sympathetic noises and waited for him to finish. I mean, crazy doesn’t equal dangerous and it doesn’t hurt to listen.
The shoes were tight, but they did fit (I have big lady feet and he was pretty small for a dude). He threw his socks in my trash, thanked me for the water, and wandered off with dire warnings about the state of the planet and to “look out for aliens.” Last I saw of him, he was heading down the street. I have no idea what brought him to my neighborhood, or even my house, but it happened. All in all, it was an interesting encounter. Not my strangest by far, but interesting nonetheless.