Questions and Answers

Fandango’s Provocative Question #85

I’ve answered a couple of these in other blogs, but this is the first time on this one. My creative juices are getting all stirred up again, and answering questions is a good way for me, well… get the words out. Maybe the change in time with the medicines is starting to work. I dunno. I’ve had to drastically alter my eating habits to accommodate the new medicine regime — basically reducing the times I can eat to a limited few hours, between roughly 9am to 5pm because the meds I take in the morning have to be on an empty stomach and so do the meds I take in the evening and so do the meds I take at night. Which means nothing after 5pm and nothing before 9am. Anyway. that might also have something to do with it my increase in energy because I’m not full all of the time. I dunno. But I digress. Today’s question has nothing to do with food.

Fandango’s provocative questions aren’t meant to provoke controversy, they’re meant to provoke a response… spark discussion. You can see more about this, and the where and why of this particular question(s) on their site here. I, of course, found this through Melanie’s site, and you can read her insightful answer on her site linked here. But without further ado, here is the question and my answer.

Have you ever had to make what turned out to be a life changing decision? I’m very much a butterfly effect kind of person. I think that all of my decisions have the potential to be life altering decisions. And there have been many points in my life where I’ve stood at the crossroads, pondering what affect my decision will have on not just me, but the people around me. Divorcing my first husband was one, and it took me four tries to even do that. Picking a place to move to whenever I divorced him was another. Taking custody of my kids when I really wasn’t mentally stable was a biggie. Choosing where I would run to when I ran away from my abusive ex and went underground was huge decision. Going back to college and finishing my degree… that took a lot of mind gymnastics. Changing my legal name, that was a big decision. Getting married again… well, that wasn’t so much of a big decision as it was finding my place in the universe… finally! I guess those were the huge “life changing” decisions.

Because a small bug went KaCho0.

If so, do you ever wish that you could go back in time and make a different decision? When I was a teenager full of angst, I used to think that I would go back in time and try to change things. But when I matured I realized that even if I could change things, that doesn’t mean I would make things better. We can’t change one thing and hope everything will be better. Every single thing we do affects those around us, and what they do affects those around them. And so on. It’s a never ending ripple effect. Even the small decisions I make today have affect those around me in incremental ways. That’s just how life works.

Heartwarming Thai commercial

What decision was that and how do you think your life would have changed if you’d made a different one? Here’s the thing about change… it’s unpredictable. Chaotic. Let’s chose going back to college as something that would have made a big difference. Originally, I was going to spend Christmas with my uncle then get a van and live in that van while workamping my way around the US. That was the plan. I was much younger then and not as disabled. I had a pretty good workamping plan laid out too. I just needed a van I could live in. My uncle is the one who suggested I go back to college and get my degree. Would I have been better off or not had I gone with my original plan? I dunno. I can guarantee that my life would be way different. And I can tell you for nuthin’ that I wouldn’t be where I am now, that’s fersure.

The van life… Photo by Skitterphoto on

Anyway, thanks for the question, Fandango. I’m glad you asked it and I was happy to answer. It’s fun to think about what was, but as I mentioned in my comment to Melanie’s post, my dad had a saying: Put could-a, should-a and would-a in one hand and twenty-five cents in the other, and you can buy yourself a cup of coffee. Well, not anymore! I mean, coffee costs upwards to five dollars nowadays, but the sentiment is the same. I guess the saying is more along the lines of: Put could-a, would-a, and should-a in one hand and a quarter in the other and whatdya got? Twenty five cents. Or one of my fav sayings: A whole lotta nuthin’ and too much of everything else.

Coffee and cookies.

6 thoughts on “Fandango’s Provocative Question #85

  1. Very insightful answers right back at cha! I think that work-camping idea is awesome and I’ve had a bit of regret I never did it, especially after watching re-runs of “Route 66” where they did just that. But I sure wouldn’t drive a vintage Corvette around, I’d get that old VW van, much more practical! Abusive exes have to be one of the biggest (in my opinion) obstacles anyone can face, because they’re so damned hard to get shed of. It’s so complicated. I’ll reiterate what I’ve said before to you: I’m glad you got away and I totally understand the underground for a time. Because some abusers NEVER GO AWAY, do they? I hope now you’ve gotten rid of that unpleasant situation permanently! Pet Poptart and Mister and the gang for me, would you?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally would have rocked the VW van lifestyle. I know I would have. Just me and Mister on the road. Yeah, some abusers never go away. I wrote a blog post a little bit ago about letting go of my past, so there’s that. 😉


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