Questions and Answers

QotD Oct 10 Gone Friends

Today’s question is one of those that may induce “the feels” in some people, so be warned. Remember, these are randomly generated from a list of nearly 700 questions. And some of them are happy questions, I swear! And this one doesn’t need to be sad. We humans tend toward the sad sometimes. I, myself am going to focus on the happy as much as possible. So anyway, here’s the prompt: Who is someone who is no longer in your life that you wish you had not lost touch with?

prompt: Who is someone who is not longer in your life that you wish you have not lost touch with?
Who is someone who is no longer in your life who you wish you had not lost touch with?

I have to admit, dear reader, that I almost picked a new prompt for today. This one is poking at wounds that are still a bit tender. I’m totally a “live in the now” kind of person so I don’t let things sit and fester, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get hurt now and again. As some of y’all know, I had a very turbulent and abusive relationship that ended… violently. The aftereffect of which had me landing in a little town in Mississippi and enrolling a little university because I figured that hiding in academia was a good idea. It was there I met this guy. We’ll call him by his nickname I2D2. He and I then spent the next three or so years attached at the hip. We were basically friends with benefits and best friends. I think had we met anywhere else, we probably would not have been so close, but we were basically stuck in this small town and kind of two of the few “sane people” there. So of course we were going to stick together and make the best of it.

photo of Mississippi state university
MSU, my alma mater

I2D2 helped me through a really difficult time in my life. I’d like to think that I brought something to our friendship too. I mean I don’t think he would have hung out with me for so long if I didn’t. We had a lot of fun together, and I’m not talking about just the benefits. ^_^ Honestly, I don’t think I would have recovered as quickly from the madness that was my previous relationship without him. It was an interesting friendship being as he was a Chemical Engineer major and I was an English major. He was also about a decade or two younger than me, but so was everyone else in the college. Ha! Most of my friends in the college were both younger than me and… not English majors so he wasn’t unique in that way. I had a few friends in my college (English) but not many. I just didn’t jive with most of the English students. Anyway, back to I2D2. Just before my last year of college, his professor got an offer from another college in… Michigan? Yeah, Michigan. And she would only accept it if she could take her team with her — he was a PhD student. So, they all packed up and moved to Michigan. So I spent my last year without him there to buffer the loneliness. 😢 But I had quite a few other friends — most of whom I’m still in touch with — and I made due.

cat lying on computer with text "I love my computer it's where all of my friends live.
Most of my friends anyway… 🙂

If the college in Mississippi was small and isolated, the one in Michigan seemed (to me) to be even smaller. Anyway, he fell in love up there and his new love was incredibly jealous of our past relationship and told him that in no certain terms was he to talk to me — at all. So, he started talking to me in secret. Because I guess that’s healthy. I’ve been through that before, dear reader. I make friends with guys a lot. I get along with guys. It’s just the way I am. I don’t always have “friends with benefits” because sex isn’t that big of a deal for me. I can be friends with dudes without the sex. But, some women don’t get that, so I’ve lost more than one male friend due to jealous girlfriends and wives. He and I stayed friends on Facespace for a little while, but eventually he just stopped messaging me altogether, even after I got married and was no “threat” to his then-wife — not that I ever was. We’d had past relations, and that was enough for her. Normally, I can shrug and say, “Eh, it’s all in the past.” and I’m good with it. But… he did help me through a very tough time in my life and it was hard to let that lifeline go.

facebook post about girlfriend who is jealous of cat.
random, funny, semi-related picture

Don’t get me wrong, y’all. I don’t pine for I2D2. I hardly ever think about him unless something like this comes up. It’s when something like this does come up that I think, “That’s too bad. I wonder how his life is going now?” I do wonder if their marriage survived her jealousy. I know I couldn’t deal with someone that jealous. But I’m not him. Some people like possessive partners. *shrug*. Anyway, that’s the person that came to mind with this prompt. I don’t miss him in an every day sense, but every once in a while I’m like, It would be nice to know what’s going on with I2D2. Then I’m over it and I get on my my every day life.

bird in the sky with the motto: Just breathe, you will never live this moment again.
It is my life motto

5 thoughts on “QotD Oct 10 Gone Friends

  1. Great prompt and your response is awesome too. I do understand it’s hard not to have him in your life anymore, but you did make other friends. I’ll probably write something on t his prompt soon too.

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  2. I had one of those like your I2D2 person…he died in 2013, about a year after my hubby died. I’d known him since I was born (our families lived next door to each other). He was twelve years my senior and after his mother passed away (she instructed me at the end to “take care of B*** “) because we’d been dating on and off at that time. I seriously thought about B in ‘that way’ for about two minutes and then it was just too icky…he was the big brother I never had. I loved him very much, but in a strictly platonic way. He, much to my dismay, claimed to be IN love with me. Anyway I married and he started going with this woman (whom he eventually married) who was a clone of that woman in your situation…if B ever wanted to talk to me, she had to be in on the conversation, she’d listen in on our phone calls, and if he came to see me in person, she was always right there with him. I finally told her that (DOH) I was married and that B was my oldest friend, and she claimed to understand, but she still made his life a living hell if he even mentioned my name. I’m very grateful not to have EVER been that insecure..

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