Questions and Answers

QotD Oct 13 – Best Friends

Today’s prompt talks about friendship, but not just any friendship. Best friends. We’ll go with the Your Dictionary‘s definition of a best friend:

The definition of a best friend is a person who you value above other friends in your life, someone you have fun with, someone you trust and someone in whom you confide. The first person you call when you get good news or want to go out for a bite to eat is an example of your best friend. — Your Dictionary

The more mundane definition is “Your closest friend” but that doesn’t quite catch the flavor of a best friend, does it? There are other variations of the definition, but many of them are unrealistic with things like “Will never turn their back on you not matter what you tell them.” and “Will be with you through thick and thin” and “Who will always be your friend no matter the time or distance.” People who set unrealistic ideals like that on other people are setting themselves up for disappointment. Anyway, I wanted to get the definition of best friend out of the way first because the question for today is quite simple. Who is your best friend right now? Oops, my bad, it’s Who are your best friends right now? plural

Who are your best friends right now?

Feel free, dear reader, to answer in either the singular or the plural, or, as I’m about to do, in the negative. I honestly don’t have any “best friends” as defined above. I have no one to call and get coffee whenever I’m lonely. I don’t have anyone who calls me to go get coffee. No one invites me to their girls night out, or to go shopping or anything like that. And if I call people, they generally have other plans. That’s understandable though because the circle of friends I did have when I lived here five or so years ago has moved on and I can’t expect to drop back in as though no time has passed. I was reconnecting with a few people and then COVID-19 hit and well, that put the kabosh on a lot of my tentative reaching out.

But I don’t always make friends easily and best friends? Ehhh. I’ve had a few over the years. I’ve talked about two in my last couple of posts… “Jenny” and I2D2 and I have had a ton of friends over the years that I’ve loved to death but would not consider “best” friends. And of course I’ve had more “best” friends than the two mentioned. Those are just the two that come to mind when writing at the moment. They left the most impact on me I guess. Other than my psycho ex, who was my bestie before he became my psycho ex. In a way. It’s a long story and not what we’re talking about today.

I suppose some would ask if my husband is my best friend. If you take the definition above, yeah. He’s my best friend. But I tend to separate him out because he’s my husband. So there’s a difference. I mean we’re together 24/7 right now and I think that sometimes people need time away from their spouses. Like, he has his friends that he plays online games with and I’m cool with that. He used to go out to the movies with those same friends and I was 100% okay with that too, because I hate going to the movies and he loves going to the movies. I’m all: Go, have fun. Hang out with the guys. and they would. They’d go to conventions and buy nerdy stuff. and I’m all, Whatever! don’t spend too much money. Because I don’t need him attached to my hip all of the time. Right now, they hang out online because we moved from WA to NM and his friends are in WA. But I didn’t have many friends in WA and I was completely agoraphobic up there because of my crazy neighbor. So I didn’t have a best friend at all up there. It was a trying time really.

I’m not actively seeking a best friend, y’all. I think these things have to happen organically. I’m okay. COVID-19 has been pretty rough on all of us. It’s really set me back with my agoraphobia. Like I have trouble leaving the house anyway, so I’m just like, eh, maybe next week. I’m an introvert at heart anyway, so I’m happy with my own company — most of the time. Things will work out eventually. Whenever I need a friend, one will come along. That’s how life works. That’s my belief anyway.

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