Questions and Answers

QotD Oct 20 — Missing my dad

Today I’m gonna fudge a little on my Question of the day, because it once again requires me to step outside the question itself and answer in a way that’s not directly to the question but in the spirit of the question. So today’s question is: What do you miss most about a relative who has passed on? And to tell y’all the truth, I don’t have many relatives who have passed on. Not that I know of anyway, and those who have, I wasn’t close enough to miss much about them. About a year ago my grandma passed, and I was sad, but mostly for all of the missed opportunities because the last time I saw my grandma was when my youngest daughter was still a baby, and she’s close to thirty now. So I can’t really say I miss much about her. Though the relative I’m going to talk about has been out of my life almost as long, so there’s that.

What do you miss most about a relative who has passed on?

Anyway, I’m gonna talk about my dad. The reason why I’m fudging on this, dear reader, is because I don’t know if he’s alive or dead. He just kind of walked out of everyone’s life about twenty or so years ago and that was that. No one has heard hide nor hair from him since. The last I heard about him, he was holed up in the hills of Virginia and didn’t want anything to do with anyone. I don’t get my crazy from nowhere, y’all. Both of my parents are nutters. Anyway, I’ve always kind of missed my dad. When I got divorced the first time, I went to live with my dad for a few years to get back on my feet. He was loud, obnoxious and socially unacceptable, and I liked that about him. He didn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thought about him and he let everyone know it. The one thing that annoyed me about my dad was his taste in women. Holy hell, he had the worst habit of falling for women who took advantage of the fact that he didn’t want to live alone. His last wife — number five (could be six) by my count — took him for everything he had, and that wasn’t much. That bitch from hell wiped out what little savings he had and went for his Navy pension. She didn’t get it, but she tried. She is the main reason why he disappeared. He really loved that woman, he’d been friends with her for years before he married her so he figured she was a safe bet. I babysat her kids because he asked me to. I never liked her from the moment she put her ugly mug in my face and insisted she was the best thing that ever happened to him. I didn’t like her annoying brats either. Anyway, she broke him. If I ever see her ugly face again, I’ll punch it.

picture of two girls with the words "You're rude, crude, and socially unacceptable... Let's be friends."
Birds of a feather, me and my dad.

But back to Dad. I miss him and his socially unacceptable ways. The thing I miss most about him though is his big heart. He really did try to make up for his mistakes of the past. Though honestly a lot of what happened wasn’t his fault. The divorce was a shit show. My mom is a petty, vindictive bitch. Nothing is ever her fault, it’s always the other party’s fault no matter what. After he was transferred (because, Navy) she threw away letter, card, and present he sent us. We never saw any of them, except maybe the presents, she probably told us she bought them. When he called, she said we weren’t there. She lied to us, saying that he never wanted us, and didn’t want to talk to us anymore. She told him the same thing. So I didn’t see or hear from my dad again until I was in my twenties when he called out of the blue. And just like that, we started talking again. The only person my dad hated — that I know of — is my mom for what she pulled. Even his other wives he kind of forgave. Well, I don’t know about the last one because, as I said, he disappeared after her. Maybe she holds the same place in his heart as my mom. But I miss my dad’s loud, booming voice telling the same stories over and over. And I kinda miss his duck feet and barrel chest.

quote: Never search for happiness in others, it will make you feel alone. search for it in yourself, you will feel happy even when you are left alone.
Pithy quote to break the anger.

I’m kind of sad that when I lived with him I was unmedicated because that meant that he had to deal with my bipolar ass for the four years I lived with him. If we knew each other now, I think things would go a lot smoother. Not that they bumpy then, but I would be a lot less irritable than I was in those years. I think he figured I was just moody from the divorce. Either way, we got along pretty well for the most part. Even if he kept picking up the phone whenever I was downloading a file — grrr. >_< It was the late 90’s y’all; the internet was a new thing. He’d be in his late seventies now if he’s still alive. I think not knowing is the worst part. I’ve just kinda put him in the “dead until proven otherwise” category. If he is alive, I hope that he’s doing well and has finally found a woman who loves him, not his meager Navy pension, and is happily settled down. I know that his drive to get married is because he doesn’t want to live alone, and I get that, but it’s better to live alone than live with the wrong person, dude. Way better. Anyway, love ya, Dad if you’re out there, and miss ya. In these uncertain times, I guess sending out positive thoughts is the best we can do sometimes. So here ya go.

Goku from Dragonball Z with spirit bomb with the words "Sending Positive Vibes"
Lots of positive vibes. Ha!

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