Don’t worry, it wasn’t a long one, and it’s what happened when I woke up that was worrisome. But I had a dream last night where I suddenly couldn’t use my left leg. Like, I was doing this weird pirouette/shuffle down the hall, through the rooms of wherever I was. It wasn’t my house, more like a hotel or retreat or something. There were people there is all I can remember. And I didn’t seem to have trouble moving with just one side of myself being mobile. But then again, I often fly in my dreams — not through the sky, just inches off the ground. It’s very freeing, being weightless. Anyway, in my dream last night, I just wandered the hallways with the pirouette/shuffle and as I ambled out onto the balcony, my dream brain was desperately trying to make sense of what was going on, and I thought I’d sit down on one of the chairs and take a rest to figure it out, but I couldn’t make my body work to do that. That’s when my for real brain screamed at me Wake up idiot, you’re about to die!
So I woke up.
This isn’t the first time I’ve had dreams that warned me something was amiss with my body. When I woke up last night, I wasn’t breathing. Again, not the first time I’ve woken up gasping for air. But this time something was different. As I lay there gulping in oxygen, I did what I usually do, and wiggled my hands and feet to get the circulation moving, because lack of oxygen tends to make them go all tingly. Well, I tried to anyway. Last night, things did not go as they usually do. I could wiggle my right hands and feet, but not my left. They weren’t tingly or numb, that’s to be expected. No, dear reader. I just couldn’t move them at all. I measured time in gasps of breath because that’s what I was doing. So it went something like this: gasp, gasp, wiggle right hand good. gasp gasp, wiggle left hand nothing. gasp gasp wiggle right foot good, gasp gasp wiggle left hand nothing. Repeat. It took about three tries before the left side started responding, then it was like nothing happened. But it was long enough for me to start to worry. I was just about to reach for my phone and call 911, y’all. I almost went hospital anyway because it freaked me out, and I think I might have in my younger days. But here’s the thing, I’ve gone to the hospital and/or doctor after something freaky has happened before — when I feel fine, and when other people or websites have said, “You should really see a doctor, it might be serious” and every single time I’ve been treated as if I am either med seeking or attention seeking. The doctors or nurses will be like, “Why are you here?” Um, because this freaky thing happened to me and everything I’ve read or everyone I talked to has said that I should see a doctor. I dunno, I guess I’m over being treated like a hypochondriac.
Even Doug, when I told him what happened last night, acted like it was no big thing. I mean if someone came to me and told me they couldn’t move their left side after waking up not breathing, I would have asked them, “Are you alright?” or something because it was a frightening experience. But he was all, “It’s probably nothing.” Probably because it was one in the morning and he couldn’t be bothered. I dunno. I guess if one wakes up not breathing too many times, it becomes passé. Ah, don’t mind me, dear reader. I’ve been in a blue funk lately, everything makes me angry right now. I need to get out and go for a long drive or something. Clear my head. Problem is, there’s nowhere around here that I really want to drive to, and gas costs too much. I’m so frustrated right now, stressed about all of the landscaping nonsense and contractors we’ve had to deal with these past few months and their nonsense. I’ll blog more about that tomorrow. There’s just been so much we’ve had to deal with and it feels like everyone around me is brushing me off. I feel like I’m about to blow up at any minute and I have no outlet. I used to just go for long walks, but I can’t even do that because my allergies are keeping me inside for the most part. Whenever I even try to walk anywhere, I can’t breathe. I’m thinking about maybe joining a gym just so I can use their treadmills, because at least they’ll have filtered air. The last time I exercised regularly was when I lived in Mississippi and I walked around the inside track in the gym there. It was great. If I can find something like that here, I’d totally do that. I used to walk around the mall in Virginia in the mornings, but that’s not a thing anymore.
Anyway, last night scared me. It’s not the first time that the left side of my body has done something like this. A year or so back I sneezed harder than I normally do — and if you’ve heard me sneeze, you’ll know what I mean (I have tiny sneezes) — and the entire left side of my body went numb for a few seconds. It was kind of freaky. Then, as now, everyone said it was probably nothing. And since I felt fine afterwards, I just went on with my life. I mean what do you say to the doctor? “Oh, this happened, but I’m fine now. Check me for symptoms I don’t have.” I suppose I’ll have to wait until I do have a stroke, or whatever’s going on in my brainpan, then people will take me seriously. Anyway, thanks for listening. Sorry for the rant.